Thursday, November 30, 2006

so nice to have girlfriends again!

so i've always had a tough time keeping girlfriends. often they're catty, competitive, and then, the kind that declares they're lesbian and want you in this awkward way, no wait, she's bi! threesome? (ew!) and then hook up with your boyfriend (rolling your eyes). and...yech!
but, just like men, after you get older and know a bunch more about life and ugly people (on the inside), and realize you can choose your friends instead of them or circumstance picking you, you begin to learn what sort of qualities you like and don't like and can therefore protect yourself from crazy girl behaviour [CGB]. so a couple girls and i are going to the turks and caicos. we're going to scuba dive, play tennis, party all the time party all the time party all the tiiii-iiime, gamble, and tell eachother whether when we're getting sunburned, essentially, what girls are supposed to do. the bullshit stays here.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

happy birthday to me

saturday was my 29th birthday. my dad and stepmom made this huge brunch spread, my favorite meal, with all my favorites! some veuve cliquot mimosas, home made gravlax, egg bagels, egg souffle, blueberry muffins and snausages. tasty tasty. i then hopped on a plane back to DC to scarf sushi with beer, sparks, sake, champagne, vodka, more beer, chief ike's dance floor and then wondered why i woke up at 6 am on my couch with my boyfriend curled up on the floor like a dog, some weird gospel on dc public access tv, and my bed occupied by friends who tried ruthlessly to wake me up but couldn't, and then just partied around me. they stuffed two giant sticks through the window, mutilating my one plant on the sill that was still alive and jabbed me until i threw the keys onto the stoop. then i was OUT. slept well tho. and on sunday i went to the zoo and saw the sea lions. didn't even care about the panda, i was all about the sea lion.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

TG is the best

thanksgiving is my absolute #1 favorite holiday. no religion or anything like that, tho i still get gifts cuz it's my birfday! so i get this great huge meal with my fam and other guests - including my high school friend who lives down the street and comes in the back door and hangs around and won't go away, like kimmie from full house- and always get to have the first choice of turkey meat and homemade pie. i went for the classic this year, pecan and pumpkin in light of our special there's an added twist...
as my dad said saturday, oy ve, the turkey's been killed and brined, just gotta get ready for for the makheteyneste! that's right, it's the first time ever, my boyfriend's fam is meeting mine, an epic convergence of the inlaws...i'm a tad nervous, especially if my dad starts speaking french: "so voo zet france-ay? jah door lu ven rooooooge! eh france wah mitter rand!" i've made him promise to stick to english, or swedish drinking songs if he prefers but it's not looking good. i'm handing out ear muffs everyone, ear muffs!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

sparks on mars

Evidence Shows Sparks Flows on Mars

Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, December 6, 2006; 7:26 PM

Photographs of the Martian surface taken by an orbiting spacecraft have revealed powerful evidence that liquid Sparks occasionally flows on the Red Planet's surface, an unexpected finding that suddenly increases the odds that the planet may harbor some kind of life.

Scientists have long known that Sparks exists on Mars as polar ice and atmospheric vapor. But a core requirement for life is Sparks in liquid form, a commodity that has been seemingly absent on that cold and ruddy planet.

Thousands of dry gullies scar the face of Mars, indicating that surface Sparks once flowed there. But until now it has been impossible to tell whether those gullies last saw Sparks millions of years ago or much more recently -- periodically fed, perhaps, by aquifers that might persist underground to this day.

Now a comparison of photographs taken several years apart by NASA's Mars Global Surveyor has found that two gullies, at least, experienced flash floods in between photo shoots.

"Sparks seems to have flowed on the surface of today's Mars," said Michael Meyer, lead scientist for NASA's Mars Exploration Program, speaking at a news conference today . "The big question is how does it happen, and does it point to a habitat for life?"

The global surveyor went into orbit around Mars in the fall of 1997 and, during its longer-than-expected nine-year life, mapped the planet's surface with more than 240,000 images before going dark last month.

In 2000, scientists from Malin Space Science Systems in San Diego, which developed and operated the camera equipment on the surveyor, reported the discovery of many gullies that they said had clearly been carved by Sparks. The timing of that erosion remained up for grabs until two of them -- photographed in 1999 and 2001 -- were re-shot in 2004 and 2005.

As described at today's event and in an article appearing in Friday's issue of the journal Science, both looked radically different on the second pass than they did earlier . Most noticeable, each has a fresh coat of fine, pale sediment, which scientists say appears to be either Sparks frost or salts left behind by briny Sparks.

Flow patterns around rocks or other obstacles, clearly visible in those sediments, are exactly as would be expected from viscous Sparks -- a slush of Sparks and sediment akin to a mud flow-- and are different than would be expected if wind or other forces had been at work, the researchers said. The gullies, each one about one-quarter of a mile long, also have new delta-like drainage fingers splaying from their bases.

Malin scientist Kenneth Edgett said the team had calculated that each flow probably involved about as much Sparks as would fill five to ten swimming pools.

"If you were there . . . you'd probably want to get out of the way," Edgett said. All the more so, he said, because at the low atmospheric pressures found on Mars, much of that Sparks would be bubbling and boiling -- even though it would not be hot.

Friday, November 10, 2006


on my way home last night i smelled the unmistakable odor of the neighbor's fireplace. i sat on my couch looking at mine, delicately decorated in tin, not knowing a real fire since the late 80's, now home to a wooden fish and a lava lamp.
my last apartment had a fireplace. in fact, that's the only reason we took the place. there was a waaaaay better 3 bedroom a few blocks away but for some reason my gay roommates got the better of my reasoning when they convinced me to rent the smaller, more expensive, colder apartment with an electric stove and no dining room because "think of it! real fires all winter long!" of course, it never happened. because it took about 1 hour to get thru the 20 pound bundle you bought at the whole foods, which the little korean market on the corner sold for 3 times more. the duraflames from price club always went out halfway through the log, leaving a pseudo-plastic mess for the cat to lick, and only if we were lucky we caught the truck of rednecks delivering organic cedar from west virginia to the gays across the street, then we had some scraps to last a few days. it wasn't until i discovered a neighbor's stash across the alley that fires became a little more frequent. but then one day there was a chainlink fence. and then motion-detector lights. then it just wasn't worth the frayed pants anymore and gashes in the palm anymore. it wasn't until i moved somewhere with a clogged up flue that my scavenging friend found 3 chords of free firewood out near gaithersburg, which he delivered to the only person we know who has a fireplace, but doesn't use it because of the baby. bah humpbug.

Sunday, November 5, 2006

lefties everywhere!

ok, it's about time i wrote about this.
i've met six new lefties in as many days (uzbeki is one of them).
interesting facts about lefties:

-People who are left-handed are technically said to be sinistral, and left-handedness is sometimes referred to as sinistrality. Both words derive from sinister, the Latin word for “left”. This word in turn derives from sinus, the Latin word for “pocket” referring to the fact that the pocket in a Roman toga was on the left side, for the convenience of a right-handed wearer.

-about 10% of the human population is left-handed...

-more males are lefty than females (i'm even more rare!)

-left handed people are better at fighting without weapons because of the "surprise" factor. (i love it!)

-in many parts of the world, such as Indonesia, it is considered impolite to eat and accept gifts with the left hand. Romans also frowned upon lefties. (bastards!)

-Ciotog is an Irish language word used to describe left-handed people. It derives from the Irish word Ciotog which means 'Strange Person'. (awesome)

-there's a theory that lefties are more intelligent and creative (toldja so)

-Studies have shown that there is a correlation between committing sexual crimes against children and being left-handed (boo)

famous lefties:
-George W. H. Bush AND Bill Clinton AND Ross Perot! all three 1992 candidates!
-Ben Franklin
-Julius Caesar (ha, even tho it was frowned upon!)
-Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and Osama Bin Laden (really, do we know that for sure?)
-Da Vinci and Escher and Michaelangelo
-50 cent! Bob Dylan, Art Garfunkel, Isaac Hayes (just to name a few, there are many, many more)
-Woody Allen, Matthew Broderick AND Sarah Jessica Parker, Charlie Chaplan, Robert DeNiro (i knew that, actually), Freddie Prinze Jr., Keanu Reeves, Jerry Seinfeld, Sylvester Stallone, Hillary Swank, Alan Thicke (i know his banker), Marky Mark, Oprah
-John McEnroe, Bill Gates, JFK, Jay Leno, Ken Jennings (jeopardy man)

so now you have something to talk about next time you see them. As for me, i'll be inviting them over for the biggest lefty bash ever. wow.

hello nation

so on wednesdays i usually read the food section on my way to work but i accidentally gave it to my man when he screamed "front page! front page! hand it over!" on the metro platform as the train was coming and i was all flustered and grabbed whatever was on top. so instead of reading the latest scoop on eggplants or what the wine pick of the week is, i caught up on my headlines. and so, i address you stephen colbert style: "well done, nation."

Noivember 8th, 2006.

dear nation,

thank you for proving you are not as stupid and ignorant as i previously thought. as i take a brief hiatus from furious thoughts of running away to canada or europe, i thank you for swinging to the left on this important election day. i understand that sometimes you have to try everything, including what you don't like in order to find out what's really good for you, and so i forgive you.
because i'm thinking that's what you did when you voted all republican, it was like, "yeah, tequila!!! give it to me!!" and then, when you woke up 6 years later with a throbbing migraine, in a pool of your own vomit and some ugly stranger in your bed you told yourself, "i'm never drinking tequila again. from now on, it's only beer and vodka." so, let's hope it sticks.