Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
"what does he look like?? is he totally tubular?"
yes, tubularity quotient high. aybe 95th percentile.
"is he cute?"
well..except for the arm growing out of his head
or the backwards knees.
there was a peg leg too
and he's really only 3 1/2 feet tall...but otherwise definitely handsome! you should totally go on a date with him.
"well...i don't want to discriminate...ok."
despite that mental image, i might just pick the smallest bar in DC and meet him there. just in case.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
the dudes standing next to me during the freeze your ass off on the mall inauguration knew EVERYBODY whose face came across the jumbotron. on a first name basis too. they were all, damg, nancy! you lookin' goooood. you go Steny! bring on the love, diane! i guess i don't watch enough C-SPAN. tho i know a few of these peeps...
Thursday, January 22, 2009
and so the guy says "you know aurelgrooves, you have sunken to an all new low"
i know right?! i'm way too old to be making out with guys on the dance floor!
"no dude, he works at OMB [office of management and budget]. those guys are literally the bottom feeders of the US government!"
Friday, January 16, 2009
"the namibians! oh, my god, they found me, i don't know how, but they found me. run for it marty!!"
Thursday, January 15, 2009
ironically, my jaw problem has worsened (they say it's related to stress i was under in december...hmmm i wonder what could have caused that?) and i'm now barely able to open my mouth to talk. i can't eat anything but mush...but i can drink! i sure can! drink just about anything! through my teeth! so there.
and, i'm going to drink with the namibians tonight, including the guy in the sweater vest who horribly mutilates my name each time he says it. and he says it a lot...like, oh arelelly do you eat meat? really, ever had ostrich, ohlalula? and then i'll try and fit in the dentist (so that he can open my mouth....just enough so that i can at least i could eat one of these cherry tomatoes? that would be nice...) and then...back to vinoteca? for more beet salad cashing in my gift certificate? but then? meet up with the six fingered man whom i finally met (a whole other story) oh, the madness! beyonce! i can't take it! happy obama-ing!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
let's see...empty bottles of hair products, tupperware, a lone sock and....at the very bottom a pair of panties that totally aren't mine!!!
the intent may have been to be cruel, but even my brother, who was in the room had to wipe the tears from his eyes from the hilarity. yes, this is rainbow butt floss....size LARGE! um, i don't wear thongs and i'm definitely don't have that big a bottom. oh, should i be mad? hell no! what a zinger!