Sunday, November 5, 2006

hello nation

so on wednesdays i usually read the food section on my way to work but i accidentally gave it to my man when he screamed "front page! front page! hand it over!" on the metro platform as the train was coming and i was all flustered and grabbed whatever was on top. so instead of reading the latest scoop on eggplants or what the wine pick of the week is, i caught up on my headlines. and so, i address you stephen colbert style: "well done, nation."

Noivember 8th, 2006.

dear nation,

thank you for proving you are not as stupid and ignorant as i previously thought. as i take a brief hiatus from furious thoughts of running away to canada or europe, i thank you for swinging to the left on this important election day. i understand that sometimes you have to try everything, including what you don't like in order to find out what's really good for you, and so i forgive you.
because i'm thinking that's what you did when you voted all republican, it was like, "yeah, tequila!!! give it to me!!" and then, when you woke up 6 years later with a throbbing migraine, in a pool of your own vomit and some ugly stranger in your bed you told yourself, "i'm never drinking tequila again. from now on, it's only beer and vodka." so, let's hope it sticks.



No comments: