Wednesday, December 6, 2006

oh the caribbean

so, i just came back from the turks and caicos, which, in addition to being a lovely scuba site and burgeoning tourist destination, i found out it's also a nice tax free haven for bajillionnaires. some married, and with mistresses apparently, and who let their secrets get foiled by the naive loudmouthed visitor (me). nontheless, despite the fluffiest of bank accounts, the rich, and everyone else there occasionally lack the most basic necessities, though, it's the kind of stuff you laugh at, and giggle off because in the end, you're on a beautiful tropical island, duh. even when the weather is totally crappy like it was and i only saw about 25 minutes of sunlight (making my weekend escape/sneakback into the office that much easier to conceal).
so there i was at this 4 star resort with a toe polish problem - and cotton balls are nowhere to be found. seriously, cotton balls. "the shipment never came in, and when a shipment doesn't come in, it doesn't come in for a long time." hmmmm my mind grinds a genius scheme to import cotton balls. so then there was the grand opening party for this casino a lavish affair with over 500 guests, 25 cases of dom perignon and the same of moet, open bar with johnny walker blue and the like...and a buffet with filet mignon and lobster tail - but no knives. but look! a gourmet sushi bar with sashimi and delicate rainbow rolls and scultpured mountains of wasabi - but no soy sauce? weird.
in the end, so what, you're in the caribbean, your boss doesn't know, you're wearing your best dress, your highest heels, eating unadorned sushi and lobster tail with your hands, performing circus antics with belvedere cosmos and eyeing your next monte cristo from a giant pile.

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