Wednesday, April 22, 2009

air france mileage program totally sucks

yes, i'm a mile whore. i bet you i have three times as many miles as you have. ha!

and i have 14,000 times as many miles as you do on Air France, and i have to do something about them before august, or they expire. which has made me remember why i hate the air france mileage program in the first place.

first of all, the air france flying blue page is total shit. their FAQs don't answer a single useful question, so i'm going to re-write them.

Q: why does your website suck so much?
A: becauz our webmasteur has fewer good eyeballz zan your zombie-eyed cat! who eez not only blind, but cross-eyed too!

Q: why don't you ever count any of the miles i fly on air france?
A: becauz deez tings take time and effort, oh lala

Q: why do the people who answer calls to customer service try to speak french when they are obviously indian? or even worse, from Quebec?
A: it is charming, no?

Q: why do you give out paper menus on your flight when the choices are always chicken or pasta? it's a huge waste of paper
A: glossy paper menus, are so classy! like ze french. and it is not just chicken, it's roasted chicken provencale avec rosemary and garden vegetables! each and every one of our customers need to know this!

Q: why can't you buy miles if you need them, or give them away like every other mileage program. i can't even buy a train ticket or flowers with them, i'm totally stuck with these lame-o miles (i'm picturing the rollover minute commercial).
A: we are not everyone else, we are air france! our stewardesses are former fashion models, we do not subscibe to equal rights or silly anti-discimination laws.

so that's it. i either have to take a trip before july or i lose my halfway to a free flight miles. so i looked up skyteam flights to London and got a creepy message that maybe i shouldn't.

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