Thursday, March 1, 2012

bushmeat: the show

so around the campfire at night there are a lot of stories from the bush. and i guess it gets pretty crazy out there, especially when you're these biologist guys, who clearly don't have great planning skills like me or the female park warden to estimate and carry the requisite amount of food or water. so you hear stories like, oh, remember that time we were dying of thirst on the sudanese border and we had to drink that mud? that kind of stuff.

and as it turns out, when you run out of food, or when rebels steal your supplies, you have to make do with the last resort...bushmeat. which is why whenever we're walking or driving, one of my colleagues will be like, oh, yeah, baboon, baboon is super tasty!
which made me imagine the next awesome tv show i want to pitch. it would be called "bushmeat," and it would feature my brother, following one of these disorganized african field teams. and the first half of the episode would be travel show stuff, meeting people in the villages, seeing how they cook and prepare stuff, and then my brother staying in a hut and nursing big bug wounds and sitting in the pirogue complaining about how hot it is and how sticky his pants are.  
and then would come the time when they would have to kill something, and that's when his butcher instincts would kick in, and he would cut the thing up, and season it with whatever is around, ok, maybe he's allowed to bring a bag of mixed salt or some maggi packets, but the rest is forest plants and whatever they can scrounge, and then he would make the tastiest meal ever.
and at the end they would show the recipe, and since it's not really pc to eat monkey meat, there would be a replacement, like, instead of antilope, try and replace it with pork or something. organic pork, actually, because bushmeat is totally organic. monkeys are herbivores you know. and that would be that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Je pense que tu devrais contacter H. Weinstein à Hollywood pour le script. Et je pense que Julien pourrait jouer son propre rôle. Il nous faut un nouveau Brad Pitt dans la famille.